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 | Adopting From Guatemala ~ Our Sons Come Home
by Laurie Barnard |
It’s difficult to know where to begin our story. We have adopted biological half brothers ages 2½ and 10 months from Guatemala. Since bringing our first son home our lives have become more chaotic (as all parents will tell you), but I still can’t express the sheer joy of watching our boys grow and learn. Both boys have a unique adoption story, which makes their coming into our “forever home” more special.
Initially, our search for a child began with domestic open adoption. We got frustrated with this process and the uncertainty of a timely outcome. When my husband, Chuck, and I started the International Adoption process, we did not have any predisposition to a particular country or culture. We did not care if the child was a boy or girl. We were eager parents-to-be. We went to our agency on a fact-finding mission in early February 2000 to discuss the three countries with which they were currently working. We went home feeling like this would be a good option for us, but we had not made any decisions about what country we would pursue. Later that same week we got a call from the agency that there was a healthy baby boy from Guatemala who needed a home. There were four other waiting families who had already done their INS paperwork waiting for a child referral from Guatemala, but they all wanted girls. There was no hesitation on our part. This child and this country chose us. We were thrilled!
A single photograph was all we had to fall in love with this baby boy, and it felt a little strange. It was unfamiliar territory to put so much faith in people we’d never met, like the foster mother caring for our son and the lawyer who was taking care of our adoption in Guatemala. The social worker at our agency was the one we leaned on and her confidence in these people helped us through the waiting period. It was also reassuring that they would allow us to go to Guatemala before the adoption was final to meet and spend time with our baby. The estimated time frame was six to eight months to complete the adoption, so we planned a trip in May. To our astonishment, our agency told us to hold off on buying the plane tickets. They had checked on our paperwork and it looked like the adoption was moving much faster than expected. We put off our trip for two weeks and found ourselves going to Guatemala to meet and pick up our son, Robbie, to come home.
We arrived in Guatemala City late on the Saturday evening of Memorial Day weekend. A tour guide company that was recommended by other adopting families met us. This eased our minds about finding the hotel. We were tired from traveling and anxious knowing that we would meet our son the next morning. Could we even sleep? Not well, so we decided to take a walking tour of the area close by. The thing that struck us the most was the presence of military police in the streets. This took a while to get used to, but the locals did not even seem to notice them. Otherwise, the streets were busy with activity and people enjoying the nightlife.
The next morning we were still anxious, but giddy at the same time. Chuck seemed much calmer than I did, ready with the video camera. When Sonya, the foster mother, arrived with her 16-year-old son to help with translation, we all went to our room to get to know each other. My anxiety left almost immediately when I took the baby in my arms. Chuck switched from calm to nervous, not sure of his new role as papa. Sonya exuded warmth even with the language barrier. She had written detailed instructions (in Spanish) about the baby’s feeding schedule, sleep schedule and other personal traits. I was happy to have some questions written down for myself because I was so distracted by this happy child sitting in my lap. Sonya had also taken photos for us with cameras we had sent down in advance. We wanted Robbie to have pictures of everyone in his foster family who had loved him so generously during his first six months. This has proven to be one of the best things we did. Robbie loves to look at these pictures and they will continue to be important as he grows older and has questions about his birth country and adoption.
Since the U.S. Embassy was closed on Memorial Day, we took advantage of being tourists. Part of us wanted to take care of business with the lawyer and the Embassy and get home as soon as possible, but the other part wanted to explore this beautiful country. The same tour guide group who picked us up at the airport sent a driver to take us to Antigua, Guatemala for a day trip. We got a real sense of how busy this city is by watching the amazing bus system driving through town. We also got to see the poverty that many of these people live with. In spite of the poverty in the country, all of the children seemed to be happy and cared for.
Our guide was very pleased to practice his English and we found him extremely knowledgeable about the rich history of the area, the many churches we visited on our tour, and the markets and restaurants he was able to recommend. After we finished at the U.S. Embassy the next day, we even had time to visit the Central Market, but again we were very happy to have our guide go shopping with us to help with the language barrier and also to help with bargaining for goods. The next morning we were on an airplane back to the United States. It had been a wonderful adventure, but we were exhausted from all of the emotion and newness of our growing family.
Now we’ll fast forward to September 2001. Chuck and I thought it was time to expand our family if we ever were going to. Our experience with Robbie and his easy transition into our family made us feel comfortable with the idea of adopting again from Guatemala. We also thought it would be nice for his new brother or sister to come from the same country for some commonality.
I started contacting Adoption Alliance to get the paperwork started to update our file. We had a few phone conversations to figure out how I would get the paperwork, and then we got a strange phone call from the agency. They had a referral for another boy, and thought that it could be the same birthmother as our son, Robbie. It took a day to confirm that it was the same birthmother, but he was being referred to another waiting family.
We had always let it be known that we would be interested in siblings, but were told that they would not necessarily seek out the original adopting family if the same birthmother were relinquishing another child. This was the case here, but providence, timing, good luck, God, or something helped us all find each other. The agency was wonderful to give us the information we needed so we could start the second adoption process for our son, Jack. What was even more amazing is that both boys had the same wonderful foster family, which made our waiting time a lot easier. We were told that the other waiting family was glad we found each other and they did not have to wait long for another child referral. Jack has now been home with us since February.
When we traveled to Guatemala to pick up Jack, we decided to leave Robbie at home with Grandma so we could focus on the new baby and have some bonding time. There were many special moments in this visit to Guatemala also. First, my 26-year-old cousin, Oli, was in Honduras working in the Peace Corps. He was able to come meet us with his girlfriend and help with translations. Oli was adopted at age 10 from El Salvador by my aunt and uncle. He was very excited to meet Jack, and will prove to be a wonderful mentor for both boys. Second, it was wonderful to see Sonya, our foster mother, again and she enjoyed having Oli there to help us all communicate. We could tell she was truly saddened to have Jack leave her home, but she was happy to know these brothers would be together. We brought pictures of Robbie so she could see how much he’d grown.
The highlight of our trip was, of course, when Jack arrived at the hotel with Sonya. Before us was another healthy, happy child whose older brother was waiting excitedly at home to meet his brother. Any sibling we would bring home would be met as excitedly, but the fact these boys are biologically related will hopefully help them both as they grow up together. They will have each other for support as they learn about themselves, their birth family, and the facts surrounding their adoptions.
We were much more at ease during our second visit to Guatemala. We knew what we wanted to accomplish during our stay and what to expect with the lawyer and the U.S. Embassy. Nonetheless we were still very exhausted physically and emotionally and ready to return to the United States and Robbie as soon as possible. We could not be more thankful to have these wonderful, inquisitive, busy boys in our lives to love as our “forever family.”
Laurie Barnard is an elementary school teacher who is currently a stay-at-home mom. Originally from Florida, Laurie and he family now live in Lone Tree, Colo., with their Brittany Spaniel, Joker.
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