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 | The Sibling Adoption Option
by Kim Phagan-Hansel |
You’ve waited for months, maybe even years to finally bring your precious baby home. You’ve flown half way around the world, gone through home studies and background checks. Your baby is home, but now you must work hard to connect the past to the future through cultural activities and camps. Often times, you say, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our child had a sibling who shares the same culture, past and birth family?”
A few families who have adopted from Guatemala have found that amazing connection for their children. They have brought home that bond for their children — their biological sibling.
When Julia and Patrick Hennelly adopted 5-month-old Jimmy in 2000 they planned to adopt again — maybe a girl the next time. But when they discovered through a series of coincidences that Jimmy’s birthmother was pregnant again they decided it was important to bring that baby home, so 6-month-old Luke came home in March.
It was a miracle that the Hennelly’s even found out about Luke because the birthmother used a different attorney. Luckily, the Hennelly’s had stayed in contact with Jimmy’s foster family who remained in contact with the birthmother. When they learned that the birthmother was pregnant again and planning to relinquish the child, they contacted the Hennelly’s through the interpreter the Hennelly’s used while in Guatemala.
“It was the luck of the draw that we found out the birthmother was pregnant,” Julia said. “We knew we wanted more children and for Jimmy and Luke in the future it would be easier if they were together.”
Even though the Hennelly’s weren’t quite ready to adopt again, they felt it was important to keep the boys together. This way the boys would always have a biological connection and hopefully later on they could deal with issues of their adoption together.
“I think it will help if they choose to go back to Guatemala because they can go through that together,” Julia said.
However, Julia doesn’t see their sibling relationship as different from their brother Michael, who is Julia and Patrick’s biological son. They are all brothers and share that connection; it’s just that now Jimmy and Luke have a biological link to each other that will hopefully ease some of the emotional pains of adoption.
“They will be able to have someone else who has been through the same thing and they can talk to each other,” Julia said.
Another added benefit is that they have the same information for their boys. Julia said she has spoken with some families where they have more information for one child than the other and it causes difficulties at times. With her boys they have the same birthmother, siblings and the same place to go to find the answers. They already have some of the information and answers, including the fact that they have a biological brother, Jonah, who lives in Pennsylvania with his adoptive family. Jonah, who is older than Jimmy and Luke, keeps in contact with his brothers through letters, photos and e-mails.
“It was important to us and them that they maintain contact,” Julia said.
That is one thing that makes adoption from Guatemala so unique, sometimes a birthmother relinquishes more than one child and adoptive families are able to adopt siblings or stay in contact with siblings who have been adopted by other families. According to Linda Donnovan, Guatemala program coordinator for Adoption Alliance, she doesn’t often see siblings relinquished, but sometimes it does happen and it’s nice for families who want to adopt again.
“If it happens it’s great for the kids and the families,” Donnovan said. “The kids are in the same kind of situation and they have access to the same information.”
While it’s nice for the siblings to stay together and have that biological connection, it doesn’t always work out. As with families who have already completed their family it can be difficult to learn that a sibling has been relinquished. For others who are prepared to bring a new addition to their family adopting a birth sibling is a great opportunity.
For the Hennelly’s it was an option that was available to them that they could pursue at the time. So now the boys will always be together in their forever family.
For more information about adopting from Guatemala, contact Donnovan at 303-584-9900.
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