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 | Ten Travel Tips for Single Moms and Dads
by Caroline F. Daniel |
My cousin Peter’s wedding invitation came in the mail today. The ceremony will be held in rural Connecticut. I’m looking forward to meeting the bride, as well as the newborn family members, but because we live in Colorado, it will take a plane, possibly a train, and eventually an automobile to get to this “reunion” so that my youngest, Robin, can finally meet the rest of the family. We are going to take advantage of this time to visit “travel group” friends from the adoption trips to China and Vietnam, and then we’ll head to church camp in Wisconsin. All in all, this summer vacation will last 15 days. Still, Robin won’t be celebrating her second birthday until after we return home, which is a good thing and a not-so-good thing. Robin’s portion of the trip won’t incur any cost, which is the good thing. That she will ride as a “lap” child, hour after hour, on her mother’s lap is not good at all.
Now we’re not novices in the world of travel. Both of my kids have been members of a frequent flyer’s club since they were four months old, and last summer we spent two nights on the train, but I am a bit nervous about this trip. Single parents raising their children at home is one thing, but traveling with them through the airport, train station, or on a long drive is something else. So, before I commence with the packing, I’m going to compile a list of travel tips that have served me well in the past, along with suggestions made by various Internet “friends,” that may help my little family survive and actually enjoy our time together.
1. Luggage: take only what you can carry. I use the same giant soft-sided bag on wheels that I initially purchased for my trip to China. Since then it has been around the United States and to Vietnam and back, and it still holds clothes and toiletries for the three of us. If I must take another suitcase, it is a small one that can be checked or put in the overhead bin. A strap that is an integrated part of the larger suitcase can attach the smaller suitcase. With an integrated handle, it is easy to pull behind while still leaving one hand free.
2. Carseat: if reasonable, make one piece of luggage a carseat. Emily Breeden, who is a single mom to four-year-old Katie feels, “Probably the thing I’m most glad I did was to bring her carseat. She sat in it on the plane, so she had no expectation of being up and around, she was comfortably confined, and it was familiar. Besides that, I had the comfort of knowing she was safe. It was a hassle to carry around the airports, but perfectly manageable with a luggage cart. It also meant I didn’t have to borrow or rent one to use in the cars we were in while visiting.”
3. Doctor: call your pediatrician. With tiny little ear canals, flight can be excruciating for small children, especially those prone to infections. Dr. David B. Roos, MD FAAP, of Pediatric and Adolescent Associates in Aurora, Colorado, says that Eustachian tubes can actually close during takeoff and landing and that there are a few things parents can do to help keep them open and their children more comfortable. The important thing is to initiate the sucking action during changes in cabin pressure. “For infants who are bottle-fed or nursed, or who use a pacifier, let them drink or suck at takeoff and landing. Also, giving an infant a dose of pure decongestant, such as “Sudafed” or “Pediacare,” can keep the tubes open. A pure decongestant can be given every six hours and can give relief to those babies coming home after their international adoption.” For toddlers and preschoolers, Dr. Roos recommends giving an age-appropriate non-sugary treat such as raisins, apricots, “fun fruits” (a fruit-based treat found near the bulk candy), or anything chewy to keep them moving their jaws. If your toddler can tolerate the decongestant, an appropriate dose may be given.
4. Itinerary: arrange your flight during naptime. We always try to fly between 12:00 and 1:30 PM in order to speed the passage of time by eating lunch and taking a nap. By leaving early in the afternoon, the kids will have been up for a long time anyway, and a nap will usually come easily.
If your travel time isn’t prohibitive, consider taking the train. Steven Taub, Public Affairs Spokesperson for Amtrak, says that a great new train designed for families with children and grandparents alike is the AutoTrain on which families and their vehicles, whether cars, minivans, or even motorcycles, can travel from Virginia to Florida. “We have cartoons, family movies, and movies just for kids. There are games to play, and there is the lounge car. There is plenty of room, no one is confined to one area of the train.” And if you pay for a sleep facility, whether standard or deluxe, meals in the dining car come with the price of the fare.
5. What to Pack: keep it to a bare-bones minimum. Plan to do some laundry while on vacation. Many hotels offer laundry room facilities to their guests now; ask the hotels in which you are planning to stay. Often the same facilities will have small boxes of detergent and fabric softener for sale either in a vending machine or behind the front desk. I can pack fewer clothes that way, and it really doesn’t take away time from touring, considering the nap times and early evenings my family still requires.
6. Help: ask someone to help you get to the plane or train. Whether it be a family member or an employee, get someone to help carry the luggage and/or hold your child’s hand. Whenever possible, travel with another adult. While this may seem obvious, one reason we sat in the regular coach seating on the train last summer was because I knew some wonderful grandparent or other would be willing to help. And they were. Robin was just beginning to walk and there were plenty of loving arms to help catch her when she stumbled.
7. Confine that Kid: keep her safe by your side. Sandy Barnhart, who is Elisa’s mom, says, “I always gate-check the stroller so I can get through the airport without carrying her.” And other moms have recommended the children’s harness as a way to keep toddlers from escaping their grasp. While this may not be the most popular method, a “leash” can be invaluable to a parent who has a lot to worry about in addition to her child’s safety.
8. Goodie Bag: Barbara Morrison, single mother to two daughters from China, suggests, “Pack a goodie bag of activities your child likes to do: markers, colored pencils and crayons, paper, stickers, small books, small magna doodle, small spirograph, small activity kit with stamps and things to trace. When we went to China, I wrapped many of the new items so Tia would have surprises throughout the trip. A small backpack with all these items was a life saver and made the China trip very doable.”
9. Car Travel: Sandy Barnhart finds car trips easier. “We have a TV/VCR in the van and play her choice of video’s. Whenever I travel, I always have a charged up cellular phone and maps. I try to find out spots along the way that would interest her, and look for kid-friendly, safe hotels.” In addition, Barb Morrison likes to start her car trips early in the day with tapes of songs with which to sing along. Also, “make up stories. It’s a great time to learn more about your child’s imagination.” From her experience, Barb says, “Rather than packing lots of goodies for eating in the car, plan to buy candy at gas stops. This cuts down on the whining. Plan for an extended stop for meals.” As the children get older and have letter recognition skills, play “I Spy” as an alphabet game with billboards along the road.
10. Be Good to Yourself: travel is harried, no matter what form it takes. I begin packing days early so that the last evening before travel is spent relaxing. I drink lots of water to prevent dehydration and muscle cramps, and I always wear comfortable shoes regardless if I’m wearing jeans, shorts, a skirt or a dress. Resist that temptation to just jump right into activities. As Barb Morrison suggests, “When you arrive at your destination, plan to spend some time with the kids so they know they have your undivided attention again.”
Travel is a wonderful way to expose our children to the various cultures within our own nation and across the world; it is definitely worth the trouble. Whether your travels lead you near or far from home, may they be safe and happy adventures. §
~Caroline F. Daniel, MA, is a writer and single mom to Chloe, who is 4 and adopted 7/95 PRC, and to Robin, who is 2 and adopted 12/97 SRV.
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