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 | Selecting the Right Day Care for Your Child
by Mona S. Schatz, Ph.D. |
Even though a child may not yet be talking, they can communicate in many different ways about the newness of his or her life. Most directly, infants experience a different physical environment from where they had lived previously. Foods are usually different and also quite abundant. The daily sights and sounds are usually different as well. The language spoken with the child may be radically different. How time and daily activities are organized are often radically different. Most significant, family life and consistent parenting is new to this young one. The experience for many families is equally different when they are first time adopting parents.
Selecting a day care program
As things settle in for the family, everyday demands surface. Economic factors and work schedules may require the parents to seek help from an out-of-home day care situation. Some issues in selecting a day care program for an infant or toddler are quite standard. Parents should look for a good ratio of workers to children — preferably three or four small children to one worker with a special staff for infant care. Parents should review the types of food provided and the frequency of meals and snacks. They should examine the quality of toys and other support materials available to the children and the methods of guiding and disciplining used by the staff. Funded by the U.S. Maternal and Child Health Bureau, the National Resource Center for Health and Safety in Child Care, has established national standards for day care centers and out-of-home care. These are helpful and can serve as a general guide for parents. For more information about the standards, call (800) 598-KIDS or visit the Web site at http://nrc.uchsc.edu.
When adopting a child from a foreign country, among the first jobs of the parents is to modify some of the early infant behaviors that are uniquely attributable to life in an institutional setting. Behaviors such as binge-like eating, poor or no eye contact in social interactions, and self-stimulating behaviors, such as rocking the body, are not atypical for institutionalized children. Thus, adoptive parents of these post-institutionalized children must be attentive to eliminating or modifying these behaviors that are not beneficial to the child’s growth and development.
When adoptive parents of a post-institutionalized child have to maintain careers outside their home and employ day care services, they should look for day care providers who will work with them in these areas. Further, parents should consider whether they can do some work at home, so that the number of hours the child is in the day care environment is limited to four to five hours maximum per day. Most important, parents should look for a provider who is interested in helping meet the goals that are needed for the child, goals that may include modifying some of the behaviors that originated from living in an institutional environment. Some suggestions are listed below. These can be used to talk with potential day care providers.
Attempt to find a day care setting that is as home-like as possible, and avoid medium and large institutional type of environments. Why? These special needs infants and small children have too much experience in institutional environments, and often are overly compliant in these settings due to their early institutional experiences. They are less likely to expect that they can ask for their needs to be met. For example, they know from early experiences in the orphanage that their cries will most likely go unanswered in a timely, consistent manner. They learn that expressing their needs is not going to yield a response, thus they learn to live with inner neediness. A second example is that infants will rock themselves when they get little or no attention in institutional settings, thus, in larger day care settings, these infants will attempt more self-stimulation methods such as rocking.
When talking with a potential day care provider, ask about how willing that person or other staff is to provide more focused responsiveness to your infant or small child. Because the post-institutional infant or small child knows the experience of large aggregate care, he or she may have had needs met, such as diapers changed, yet, that experience may have been accomplished with less than enthusiastic attention to the child in the process. This special adopted child needs adult providers who will talk with him or her when moving through the day’s activities, such as diaper changing and eating meals. Adoptive parents may also want to interview home day care programs where there are relatively few children in the home and more attention by the day care provider.
Ask about the social competence of the other small children at the day care setting. Your child should always be in a safe environment, interacting with other children who are not highly manipulative or aggressive. Post-institutional children often need help with socialization activities even in the early periods of life. Orphanage life for small children is one where aggressive behavior may have been beneficial or required to get any adult attention. Thus, the day care staff must be willing to recognize and aid the post-institutional child in the early, basic social messages that will aid in the child’s continued development.
Discuss with the provider special issues related to meals and food intake. Some post-institutional children have problems with certain foods. At times, these children actually have allergies to foods. Other times, because they received so little food in the orphanage, they have binge-like behaviors. Providers should be willing to prepare foods that the child is comfortable eating, rather than preparing only standard fare. Problem eating patterns are generally correctable over time, and a day care provider who is willing to provide more frequent small meals or feedings may aid in your small child’s development.
Carefully examine the environment for cultural comfort. Infants and toddlers need cues in their environment that suggest they are accepted. A day care that has cultural pictures, dolls, videos and books that are culturally diverse will benefit the small child. For example, Asian-looking or dark-skinned dolls help small children as they build their sense of self-identity. Books and videos that retell of Asian heroes and heroines, like Mulan, are invaluable, and subtle venues for instilling positive self-esteem and self-identity. You may want to visit the day care home or program on more than one occasion so you can be assured that the environment is predictable and thus, stable for the infant and young child.
What about those who oppose day care for these special needs children?
Some readers may believe that any child who has started life in an orphanage or other children’s residence should not be placed into any day care situation. This view does not recognize the varied ways families live and thrive along with the better lifestyle afforded the adopted child, in comparison to the orphanage lifestyle. It is also important to consider the many benefits of a child care environment. These environments often aid children in their growth and development, providing essential lessons in social life with other small children. For the post-institutionalized small child, there may be a heightened level of comfort achieved that is not available in the small family unit. Therefore, an unexpected plus can be gained.
As a final note, if you have selected a day care provider arrangement and feel relatively positive about the facility and staff, remember to be attentive each and every time you drop off and pick up your child. Staff change; children change; and so does your small child. Continue to assess whether the day care facility is meeting your child’s special and regular needs in ways that are promoting the growth and development of your child. Never apologize if you feel you need to move your child to a different situation. As the parents, your job is to find the best adult care providers possible. Good luck as you go about loving and caring for your wonderful child.
Mona Schatz, Ph.D., is a professor in the school of social work at Colorado State University, and the founder and director of the Education and Research Institute for Fostering Families. This Institute is an education, training and research center working to improve professional practice with at-risk and vulnerable families and children. Schatz has worked directly with children and families for more than 30 years, as well as trained professionals who are involved with children, families and human service programs. She has written many education programs for child welfare professionals, foster care and adoptive parents. She has presented in more than a dozen countries, particularly in Eastern Europe and Russia. She has spent many years teaching and working with non-profit agencies and has been a consultant to local, regional and national family and youth development organizations. She currently coordinates a new graduate study program in youth development through the university and the Great Plains-Interactive Distance Education Alliance.
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