Describe your circle of friends.

I feel that I have been lucky throughout my lifetime with friendships.  Also as I develop, the meaning of friendship transforms.  As every child likes to be popular and accepted, an important issue for me was to feel secure within my own social environment.  When I was younger, I cultivated friendships through sports.  My involvement in sports was my identity and I often think that if I did not have sports, I would be very different today.  Through sports, I had the privilege of meeting many people and I found comfort because the people who I met had similar goals, drive and identity.  I often felt that sports was my mask, my comfort shield that protected me from my fear of being alone.  I knew that I was different and sports was a common ground where I accepted.  Sports continued to be an important facet in my life throughout high school and college.

Now I don’t have sports to protect me.  I still have many friends, but I have become wiser and more selective of with whom I want to share my friendship.  As I grow older, I have chosen to expose myself more to people who have experienced similar situations as a child.  I am finding that this similarity of being adopted is something that I have been longing for a long time.  In a way, I feel more connected with these people than some of my closest friends who I have known for years.

~Zachary Kukoy

_______________________________________________________

In the past, my friendships usually developed out of common interests and convenient geographic proximity.  As a child I was active in sports and music, and so most of my friends were involved in these activities as well.  Since I grew up in a small community, the friends I made as a kid pretty much remained the friends I had by the time I graduated from high school. 

In the present, my friendships continue to develop out of common interests.  Only, my interests have broadened and my exposure to people outside of the familiarity of my community has also grown.  I still keep in touch with friends I had growing up, but our interests have changed and so, as so often happens, we have grown apart. 

Over the past few years, meeting adoptees and establishing friendships has been a welcome experience.  As a child I grew up knowing other adoptees, but I never felt the need to seek them out and none of my closest friends were adoptees. Nowadays, I enjoy being able to share similar experiences and discussions with adoptees that my non-adopted friends cannot fully understand.
 
I don’t think the way in which I develop friendships has changed, but my friends today open my eyes to the diversity of life.  I have stepped out of the nest of my hometown to discover a multitude of wonderful and interesting people.  And thanks to the wonders of e-mail and cheap airline tickets, my friends no longer have to live within walking distance for us to keep in touch.

~ Jessica Medinger
 

_______________________________________________________