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 | Adopting Alex
by William Taeger |
William and Teresa Taeger never thought their adoption journey would end, but when 6-month-old Alex was placed in their arms they knew he was worth the wait.
Alex was about a week shy of turning 6 months old when my wife and I met him for the first time. The moment he entered the room, in the arms of one of his caretakers, and was placed in Teresa’s lap will be forever etched in my memory. He had on two layers of multi-patterned pajamas and was wearing a yellow bonnet on his head, which he leaned against Teresa while he sucked his thumb. He just sat there, quietly studying the room with his sky blue eyes, his tiny fist hanging out of his mouth. It just seemed so surreal that this moment was actually taking place.
We had arrived in Kursk earlier that day after a long, sleepless ride on the night train from Moscow. It had been a long trip, and we were still severely jet-lagged after arriving at the airport from Houston the day before. As we stepped off the train, we were greeted by our driver and interpreter who took us into town and helped us check in at our hotel. They gave us a couple of hours to rest up as much as we could before proceeding to the Ministry of Education, where our visit to the orphanage would be arranged.
The hotel was an older building, about 15 floors high, with elevators that were really small and dimly lit. Our room was a suite with a bedroom, a living room, and two half baths with hardwood floors throughout. Adjacent to the hotel was an Internet café, which we visited every evening. An hour on one of the computers was cheap and convenient, and so e-mail became our primary means of communication with everyone back home.
We managed to get in a very brief nap, then headed down to the lobby where we were introduced to Galena, our adoption coordinator, and Deana, one of two interpreters we worked with while in Kursk. We had already met Vera, our other interpreter, at the train station earlier that morning. Both Deana and Vera taught English at the university, and they would trade off in shifts when one of them had a class to teach or another adoptive couple to attend to. Deana’s English was very proper, soft-spoken, and British-like, whereas Vera’s speech was very informal and closer to what one would hear in the U.S.
It was still dark outside when we arrived at our hotel that chilly October morning, and so our drive to the Ministry of Education offered our first real look at the city. Kursk is located in the general vicinity of where Russia, Belarus and Ukraine come together. It is approximately the same distance due south of Moscow as Houston is from Dallas. It is a bustling city complete with trains, streetcars and auto traffic. Crowds of pedestrians frequently j-walked into the streets, sometimes running from the paths of oncoming vehicles, and it wasn’t too uncommon to see automobiles driving down sidewalks and honking at pedestrians to get out of the way. Many of the buildings in Kursk seemed to have been built during the Soviet era while others appeared to be much older, especially the beautiful, onion-domed cathedrals located throughout the city.
When we arrived at the Ministry of Education, we were introduced to the woman in charge of authorizing meetings between orphans and their prospective adoptive parents. She handed us four dossiers, complete with health histories and photos of Russian boys who met our specific criteria. We had asked for a healthy male child, 12 months old or younger. As she handed us each dossier, one at a time, she briefly described each child’s documented medical history. The dossiers were hand written in Russian, and none of the photos were particularly flattering. Because we had barely slept at all during the previous 48 hours, Teresa and I had trouble trying to remember which child had which illnesses. We really felt that we weren’t prepared to make such a life-changing decision so soon. Our facial expressions must have given us away because Deana jumped in and suggested that we could ask Galena for help because, she said, Galena was good with children. We took her advice and handed Galena the dossiers. After looking carefully through the short stack of papers, Galena selected the first dossier we were handed. Coincidentally, we were told that this particular child had become available for foreign adoption that same day!
We finally arrived at the orphanage a little after 2 p.m. After leaving the Ministry of Education, we were taken to various offices around town to collect the necessary documents and notarizations required by Russian law to make our visit to the orphanage official. We gathered in one of the larger offices to discuss Alex’s medical history and to find out everything we could about his birth parents. It was during this meeting when we first met Alex.
We were allowed to spend time with Alex in the piano room, which was located downstairs from his nursery in the orphanage. During our initial visit with him we took several digital photos and recorded our own set of measurements with a tape measure we had brought along with us. We also recorded several minutes of camcorder footage of Alex to share with family and friends when we returned home. Later that evening, we e-mailed the pictures with Alex’s measurements and a brief summary of his medical history to the pediatricians in Houston. Based on the information we were able to provide, the doctors gave us positive feedback, and so we were excited to let Galena know the next day that we had decided to adopt Alex.
That evening, Galena and Vera took us to a popular Georgian restaurant to celebrate. We ordered chicken and beef kabobs, and we were taught the proper etiquette for drinking Russian vodka. While in Russia, Teresa and I were treated to the utmost in Russian hospitality. Regardless of whether it was the people in our entourage who took us out to dinner each night; or the owner of the local pizza parlor who went out of his way to find extra chairs for us; or the ladies behind the candy counters in the local market who patiently deciphered our pantomime; the Russian people we encountered were very friendly.
We were in Kursk a total of three days during our first trip. On the last day, the downstairs piano room was occupied, so we spent time with Alex in the nursery where we were able to observe the orphanage workers as they cared for the children. On staff was a baby masseuse who massaged the children’s legs and arms after they were bathed to help with their physical development. One woman, who stood out as Alex’s primary caretaker, spent a lot of time talking with Alex as she changed him and fed him. It was obvious to us that she and Alex were very close. We also learned that she had taken him to be christened in the Russian Orthodox Church. While we were there they let us feed Alex, and afterwards he did a little christening of his own on my knee. The orphanage workers laughed hysterically as they took Alex into the adjacent room to change him. After they brought him back out, he fell asleep in my arms. When it came time to go, I put Alex in his crib, but he woke up and reached out his arms, and began to cry. I smiled at him and promised we would be back soon to take him home with us.
On our way back home we squeezed in some time to do the “touristy” things in Moscow. We visited Red Square and toured the Kremlin. We also purchased several keepsakes for Alex and Christmas gifts for friends and family at a popular flea market on the north side of the city. We picked up a Russian flag, a music box replica of St. Basil’s Cathedral, and several Russian children’s books, among other things, for Alex. We also brought home at least 15 matryoshka dolls of various colors and sizes. Matryoshkas are the wooden Russian dolls that stack one within another.
It was the middle of November when we returned to Russia for our court hearing. We weren’t anticipating any problems with the adoption proceedings, but we were hoping that we could convince the judge to waive the traditional 10-day waiting period. This waiting period is typical for all Russian legal processes, whether criminal or civil, and is intended as an opportunity for interested parties to appeal the court’s decision. Our understanding was that the judges in Kursk rarely, if ever, waived the 10-day waiting period.
The judge began the hearing by asking Teresa and I specific questions regarding our intended care and welfare for Alex. This was followed by a series of statements given by various individuals in the courtroom concerning Alex’s medical history, his history at the orphanage, and his availability for foreign adoption. At the conclusion of the hearing, when the judge asked if we had any special requests to make of the court, we asked that the 10-day waiting period be waived. At that time Irena, the orphanage director, addressed the court and also asked that the waiting period be waived. That morning, she argued, saw the beginning of a chicken pox outbreak at the orphanage, and if Alex contracted the illness Russian law required that he be quarantined for three weeks. The judge agreed that it would be in Alex’s best interests to grant us custody immediately, thereby waiving the 10-day waiting period. When the hearing ended, everyone in the courtroom surrounded us with hugs and handshakes to offer their congratulations. We were now officially parents!
The next few days seemed to fly by. The hearing was on Friday, and the adoption decree and birth certificate would not be ready until the following Tuesday. Until then, we dropped by the orphanage to take Alex to get his visa photos and Russian passport. When Tuesday finally arrived, we returned to the orphanage one last time to take Alex home. After Teresa changed him into the clothes and ski suit we brought with us, his caregiver insisted on carrying him downstairs to say goodbye. When we reached the front door, she wished him well with his new family and did the sign of the cross over him. Teresa gave her a big hug, took Alex into her arms, and turned to go out the door. I was a few paces behind her, and I looked back to see Alex’s caregiver as she turned and raced out of the room with a hand over her mouth, tears streaming from her eyes.
We arrived back in Moscow the following morning and stayed in town only long enough to wrap up our business with the U.S. Embassy and the Russian consulate. We also took Alex to see Red Square before leaving the city. Our flight home landed in Houston the Friday before Thanksgiving, and after passing through immigration we were greeted by all four of Alex’s new grandparents. We were so happy to be home — all three of us!
Alex has been with us now for almost five months, and we will celebrate his first birthday soon. He is a happy, healthy boy and has grown quite a bit in such a short time. He loves to play in his swing and has more toys than he knows what to do with. Most of the toys were given to him by family, friends and coworkers, all of whom were very supportive of our decision to adopt internationally. We plan to teach Alex as much as we can about where he came from and to take as much pride in his Russian heritage as Teresa and I have in our German heritage. And someday, we hope to return to Russia to show Alex the city where he was born and adopted.
William Taeger is a computer programmer for a gas pipeline company in Houston, Texas. He and his wife, Teresa, have been married 10 years and they recently adopted their son, Alex, from Kursk, Russia in November 2002. Taeger is currently an advisory board member for Los Ninos International Adoption Center.
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