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 | Adopting George
by Caitlin Pappas |
I must admit that our experience adopting from Ukraine was an unusual one — we do not represent the norm in many respects because of some of the difficulties we ran into while in Ukraine. But in other ways, our story is the norm — we are home today with a wonderful, happy and healthy son.
We started our adventure at a quick pace — we signed on with our agency, Wide Horizons For Children, in February 2003 and left for Ukraine Nov. 18, 2003. We left with four suitcases, a library, medicines, cell phones, power bars, roach spray, flashlights, disinfectant, gore-tex, melatonin, 29 AA batteries, silk long underwear and enough computer equipment to launch a defunct Soviet missile. To call us ugly Americans would have been slight praise.
We left our 7-year-old daughter at home in the care of her grandparents who were ecstatic at the idea of weeks of unimpeded grandchild spoiling. We expected to return on Dec. 11 with our son as the typical timeframe in Ukraine was three to four weeks and 90 percent of the regions were waiving the 30-day waiting period.
Our first morning in Kiev, we were taken to the National Adoption Center and given a referral for a 3-year-old boy named Yura. Immediately, our translator told us that Yura was located in a difficult region and that the 30-day waiting period would not be waived.
On Nov. 22, we drove with two facilitators to the region. We spent the night in a hotel that made our college dorm rooms look like the Ritz. Hey, what do you want for $25 per night. The next morning was spent running around with our facilitators to various offices for more paperwork. Everywhere we went there seemed to be a crowd of other foreigners. We landed in the unusual circumstance in Ukraine of having 21 families all referred to the same orphanage on the same day.
We finally arrived at the orphanage in the afternoon and were called to the director’s office. We decided to split responsibilities. My husband, Nick, would ask all of the questions of the director about health, history and other concerns. I would concentrate on the child. I approached Yura with a dish of cheerios — he came to me and started eating. I gently spoke to him and took out some toys. He played, but was clearly intimidated by the proceedings.
People have asked if we knew instantly that this little boy was our son. In all honesty, I was immediately enchanted by Yura. At the same time, I wanted to hold my heart at bay while we got information about him so we could make the right decision for both him and us. By the end of that first day, however, we knew he was to be our son.
That evening we were allowed to go to Yura’s room. We gave him cookies, of which he promptly ate 18 and played with him and took his measurements. Nick left the room and, via cell phone, called Dr. Boris Skurkovich in Rhode Island to get his assessment of Yura. That night we also had Yura assessed by Dr. Jane Aronson in New York. While two physician assessments may seem like overkill, it made us much more confident in our decision. While the majority of adoptees are quite healthy, sometimes there can be health issues in Ukraine.
We officially started the paperwork to adopt Yura the next morning. We decided to translate Yura into English — naming our son George. We moved to an apartment within walking distance of the orphanage and began our routine of visiting Yura every morning, going home for lunch, going to the Internet place to send e-mails home, visiting Yura in the afternoon, trudging home for dinner, watching a movie on our computer and going to bed. While this routine was easy, we ended up doing it for the next four weeks. Needless to say, we added a stop at the beer vendor on the way home.
If you are wondering why we got stuck in the region for four weeks awaiting our court date, suffice it to say it was a combination of factors. The region requires a ton of extra paperwork versus other regions, there were 20 other families trying to work the system at the same time, our facilitator lacked experience in the region and other reasons. At the end of the day, it was worth it. No question. But there were plenty of times we broke down, overcome by frustration.
We finally went to court Dec. 22, 2003. Our application was approved but, as expected, the 30-day waiting period was not waived. We flew home that afternoon and were so happy to see our daughter again, but now missed George. Would we ever all be together?
Jan. 31, 2004, we flew back to Ukraine. If we were ugly Americans on our first trip, we looked like Peace Corps volunteers on our second trip. We only took two sets of clothes each, one of which we wore, one cell phone and one laptop computer. The Peace Corps look must have worked — while we had set a record at our agency for the longest ever first trip to Ukraine at five weeks, we also set a record for the shortest second trip — four days.
We arrived in Ukraine and were taken to the orphanage and immediately allowed to take George. George was so excited when he saw us, he ran to us for a big hug. He then started putting on his American clothes and never looked back. Nick and I actually had a harder time saying goodbye to his caregivers.
We ran around the following two days in Kiev getting paperwork done. George got carsick several times and screamed bloody murder when we seat belted him on the airplane ride to Poland.
Leaving Poland early, we arrived in New York on Feb. 4, 2004. George’s visa was in an envelope we were not to open. I put the envelope in the backpack next to George’s milk and, you guessed it, the milk spilled all over the visa. Needless to say, I spent the better part of the flight performing artificial resuscitation on an envelope. At one point, I snaked a headphone cord into it through a staple hole and blew into the cord to try to dry it.
When we arrived in New York, it took about 15 minutes to get a green card stamped in George’s passport, even with a milk-covered visa. An hour later, we were back home. Within 10 minutes, George was chasing his new sister.
So, would we do it again? Yes, yes, YES! We were a family in search of a small soul and George was a small soul in search of a family. So we were tested in our pursuit of this — who involved in an adoption isn’t? Quite frankly, we now can’t imagine doing it any other way.
Caitlin and Nick Pappas adopted George through Wide Horizons For Children. For more information on the agency, visit www.whfc.org.
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